Leading a Private Facebook Group is Bloody Hard Sometimes!

by 

Jun 13, 2024

I honestly get why people shy away from running groups, although I massively recommend them. But you’re right about the commitment!

 

Different opinions are always fun to manage (hugely sarcastic tone in this sentence!) And, of course, written communication is always the riskiest regarding translation by those who read it. It’s virtually impossible not to get people in there who are egotistic, know-it-all all, judgy, high & mighty…

 

And then there’s the moaners – who take no responsibility and blame everything for everything…

Oh, and the very needy souls, who literally need spoon feeding, and who don’t understand anything, who take a lot of time, and then never spend any money with you…

The self-promoters, who try to cleverly weave their geniuses into every self serving reply but who rarely contribute with any value.

The freeloaders, who want everything for nothing.

The quiet ones never integrate, so you do not even know if they’re watching.

Political differences, someone sees something as banter, another feels offended…

And when you’ve grafted to gather these people and worked really hard to keep your posts engaging and useful, it’s no wonder whether it’s worth it is questioned!

 

However, this is where leadership shines:

  • Having a process to deal with situations.
  • Real clarity on your values.
  • Confidence to be able to handle niggles and, in some cases, conflict.
  • A strong strategy for the outcome of what you’re doing that always relates to your brand.
  • An easy exit for candidates who are not your tribe.
  • The ability to never be defensive in your responses (even though obviously we rant and swear around our living room for 5 minutes first!).

But let me paint the picture of the other side of the story…

We’re all just human beings doing our best.Our survival as a race has been founded on tribal gathering – we’re literally not built to do things alone. Our DNA knows we are stronger together. So it makes perfect sense that wherever we gather, even online, we are drawn in. Our DNA is pumping internal messages to us that this means survival.

 

By tapping into this innate human need, you provide a natural place to nurture – and as humans, we crave this. And I don’t know another way to do it other than to do it! Even though it’s a commitment and definitely effort, done right, it’s bloody marvellous.

 

The temptation is to be all ‘businessy’ and ‘salesy’ and I’m not saying those components shouldn’t be considered – because of course they should, but first, it HAS to be about building community, which HAS to involve you being a good leader.

 

Building a community isn’t about business or sales. It’s about connection. And you have to be connected with yourself before you can operate a connection with others. Nail this, and the business comes in. The sales come through. The reputation follows. The results are great. Human survival is satisfied!

 

There are people out there who really need what you do. Who needs someone to take their hand a little, give them some love and attention, and make them feel heard and seen.

My community is nearly all male. In fact, I’m the only female in the country who sits in a leadership position in my niche – and I promise you, those connection sentences even apply to the guys. Because we’re all just human beings, doing our best, who need communities to gather, so our DNA knows we’ll survive…

So. Top tips for YOU to survive leading a group!

  1. Be kind – always.
  2. Be generous – always.
  3. Prioritise connection – always.
  4. Never be defensive – it’s not personal.
  5. Remember, people don’t always read things the same way as you intended!
  6. You’re in charge, not them. Never fear anyone leaving your group.
  7. Share authentically.
  8. Welcome their opinion – it’s not a dictatorship!
  9. Quality over quantity.
  10. It’s normal for a small percentage of the group to be the main contributors – but have faith; the others are still watching and learning.
  11. Don’t make every story you tell a sneaky route to sell. It’s obvious and impacts trust.


We all need to swear about someone in our group occasionally – have a safe space to vent then summon your inner diplomacy!



Like the famous adverts says – you’re worth it, and more importantly, your community is worth it.

If you get stuck… call me.

Dawn

Truth is Service